The Life of Tiffany

8:10AM - life without taking risks is boring!!

Dude things are so different now. I met so many ppl in the past few months. i hang out with a lot different ppl now. its so chillen. and now im kinda seeing this guy lee. were not official or anything.  but i hope sometime soon it will be. i really like him, i have just heard so suspicious things about him. but i dunno, im still going to take the risk...cuz whats life with out risks? you know?...it would be BORING! lol. i also figured out how small this world is. its funny lees best friend likes my bestfriend danielle. and the thing is she met the guy at a party not through lee. it just so happened they've been friends since like middle school, i think...its just so fucking weird, lol. i just hope danielle sees how much he likes her and gives him a chance cuz hes a really good guy and he ain't bad looking at all. but its her choice. it would be cool thou if i dated lee and she dated brian. lol.

but ya dude pretty much for like 2 months i was partying none stop, its slowed down a little. prolly bc schools in...but dude i've had so many close calls with the cops becuz of the that shit...but lmfao it was DEFINATELY worth it...hey your only a teenager once, so hot damn i'm going to live to the fullest! haha
but yeah dude thats about it. ill try to write again sooner.
ttyl
PEACE! =D

Current mood: =)

1:18AM

 Hey.
I know it's been forever since i have wrote on here. There is so much that has has changed in my life. 

1: David's out of my life now.
2: i dated this guy brandon who i still like, but now were just friends.
3: I figured out this weekend that all my feelings for david aren't gone.
and i was talkin to brandon about david. and he says your always going to be attracted to him, but you have to remember the reasons why he shouldn't be in your life. and he was like tiffany i know you still like me and i still like you and that attraction will always be there.
i was so shocked to hear him say that.. but i dont think i will think to much into it because he has a girlfriend and i dont want me 2 get my hopes up for nothing.
all i kno is i love him and i just want him to be happy.

well im going to go.
ill try writing again soon.
buh bye
=]

9:56PM - so i have this friend....

Current mood: depressed

9:28PM - hate him and love him...

UGH!
David has a fucking girlfriend.
im so fucking pissed
so much for loving me and dating when im 16.
Just take my virginity and then leave me.
he knew how special that was to me.
and he didn't even have the guts to tell me himself he had a gf.
i had to hear it from my parents who heard from his dad.
what is wrong with me?
why am i never good enough?
 

Current mood: sad

5:23PM - UGH!

so yeah i guess i will start out with the good news that my friend Vanessa is moving back to STL.
Which is awesome..i just hope my parents let me hang out with her.
Anyways, so yeah her boyfriend Enrique told me they saw him two days ago. and he said that he changed his number.
Then i called vanessa to ask her about it and she said that he said that his phone was off.
But so anyways she told him that i said that you need to give me a call.
and he told her yeah i do need to call her.
wtf! he should had called 3 weeks ago.
and i still haven't heard from him.
and yeah so much for his phone beilng off..then why is it ringing.
UGH! im just so sick of guys. how can they treat girls like this, you know?
I mean you tell them you love them and then the next thing you know you barley hear from them anymore.
I just thought it was going to be different with him.
i really did and still do with all of my heart love him.
but i guess sometimes love ain't enough.
i just miss the way he would hold me and kiss my neck. 
and tell me im pretty and that he loved me.
i miss the way he would sing a song when it would come on.
I miss his voice.
i miss the way he would look at me. like im the only person in the room.

and then i try to move on, but that doesn't seem to be working out either.
like danielle said that brandon and gabe in so many word said that chingy doesn't anything to do with me. 
but then that same night they supposebly said that he asked to hang out. 
i dunno though. i am just so confused.
and i know it was just a hook up.
and that's  kinda what i want i just think my feelings are starting to get involved when they shouldn't.
but even if i do have feelings for him i aint gonna show it.
i can't...
ugh, i need help...
why is it that i can never have any good luck with guys?

Current mood: pissed off

8:37PM - Been a while...

Well Hey guys.
It's been a while.
and a lot has been going on with me.
like first of all I did end up with david, but he wanted to wait until i was offically 16 to date and at first i was okay with that, but he never calls and he barely ever answers when i call.
i mean i still love him, but i have decided that im gonna be a big girl and move on with my life because god knows he probably has.
And like I have told my friends if we're both single when I am 16 and we wanna give us a shot than yeah im all for it.
but right now im gonna enjoy being a teeneager and take atvantage of the single life.
Which by the way i already have.
yeah so my friend danielle hangs out with this guy brandon and his friends nick and gabe always seem to be with him. 
so like pretty much the first time i met nick we make out.
and it think we have like 3 or 4 other times since then.
and so the other day i found out he wants to stay single and suprisingly hearing that didn't really bother me.
I dunno i kinda wanna date him, but then again i kinda wanna stay single and have fun and not have to worry about a relationship.
the thing is nick gives me mixed signals. 
its hard to explain tho. iono. im just confused.
but yeah that's pretty much what has been going on with me. 
just thought id update you all. :]

Current mood: naughty

2:17AM - I ♥ Him!

So yeah as you know. I'm completely and 100% hung up on this guy. I mean I don't know why I care about him so much. Maybe it's his personality, or how thinks im pretty, or how there's always a smile on his face when he was around me. And then I know he has a lot of faults to. Some I don't agree on at all. But it's like I don't care. I'd give or do anything to be with him. I hate to say it because I think people will think I am crazy. But I love him. And I know he cares about me. I mean he's said it. But there's times were I doubt it and I know I shouldn't. And my parents think he doesn't talk to me as much because he scared about how he feels about me since nothing could really happen right now. But i think if we truly wanted to be together. that it could happen. I just need to see him. And talk to him. one on one. Not worry about distractions. Not to sound cocky I know he likes me. besides the fact he's told me, but i can just tell, you know? I can't believe it's already been a week since I last talked to him. And that sad thing is that I don't know when I'll get to have the opportunity to talk to him again. It's amazing how seeing someone for the first time in 5 years can affect your entire life. And everyone keeps telling me to get over him. But I can't. He's on my mind 24/7. And I can't seem to get him out. But the thing is that I don't want to get him out of my head. Because when I think of him and his goregous smile. It makes me feel a whole lot better inside. I just with I could be with him. But hopefully if i stay positive then someday soon it will happen. I really, really, really, really WANT HIM!!! Just thought i'd mention that in case you didn't catch that. lol. :D
~ Tiffany~

Current mood: content

2:07PM - dunno what to do.

Well where should i start. Well Billy my ex (let me say im so glad about that..lol) is going out with a girl named Tina Morchell(sp?) Which i've known this girl since either 5th or 6th grade.  Which i know she is miss innocent but the sad thing isabout it is that her and her bf just broke up not even 2 weeks ago bc she cheated on him. and i hate to be mean but i hope she cheats on billy and breaks his heart! Then there's david where he hasn't been writing me back and i dunno why. Also whats weird is he doesnt have a computer at home so he only gets on at his dads, but he hasn't been to his dads in like 2 weeks and he was online like 2 or 3 days ago. so i dunno. i mean he has the time to read what i say but yet he won't respond to it. what's up w/ that? lol. and the only reason we decided to wait to be together was of course my age and we didn't want to ruin our friendship and yet now he's ignoring me and well im trying not to get angy and bring negative energy to myself, but it really upsets me bc i like him a lot and i really don't want to lose him as a friend and i didn't d anything..lol
well i g2g.
buh bye! =D

Current mood: curious

12:29PM - AHH...HELP!

I was so happy for a while, but i dunno what happened. All of a sudden David won't talk to me as much anymore or Dalen and i didn't do anything. And i really do like David a lot still. Uhh i dunno. Should i try talking to him again or just wait for him. Then there's the billy situation. Like two days ago he just walked up and kissed Courtney. And then courtney texted me after it happened saying "billy just kissed me" and i was like "why?" And she said "bc he loves me...gag".  So then yesterday i decided i'll message him asking why he kissed her bc it was bothering me bc you don't just go up to your ex-girlfriend and kiss her and he has no right to mess with her emotions like that. So i messages him on myspace asking why he kissed her and he reply saying " bc she fucking wanted me to that's why." and i mean i think she does have feelings for him still, but i dont think she wanted him to kiss her bc she really likes this guy named matt. and she's told me a million times that she won't ever take him back. Well that's only one of the things he's done. The second thing is well i was looking on ppl's profiles on myspace and i saw this guy i went to elementary school w/ and i no now he still does go to school w/ me, but i just don't see him it's a huge school. Anyways, his name is frank hodges (danielle you might remember him). Well i started talking to him and today i read my messages and he said "i heard you had sex with Billy" Well was i pissed bc first of all i didn't have sex w/ billy. Yes, we got close, but i didn't i said NO! And he has no right to go around telling ppl when he's the one in the first place who didn't want ppl to kno about us. But, yeah all of this negative energy is coming at me and i don't know what to do. Does anyone have any ideas?

Current mood: annoyed

1:01PM - I Am Falling So Hard For Him!

OMG! I hate these circumstances. I like David so much and he likes me. You should hear some of the stuff he write to me. He makes me so happy and yet i am so sad at the exact same time. Why couldn't I just be like 2 years older.  I mean he told me he wants to be with me and uhhh. I never felt like this with any guy and we didn't even like kiss or anything. I saw him for the first time in like 5 years a week ago. I haven't felt this happy in i dunno when. I just hope we can be together. I really don't know if i could handle waiting two years. well i g2g. ttyl.

Current mood: happy

6:44AM - I'm Okay For Once! =D

Hey!  What's up?  Well, nothing really exciting has really been going on and you no what that's okay. It just seems for the first time I'm happy and content even thought I don't have everything I want. I know soon I'll have what I want all thanks to Danielle introducing me to the law of attraction. I mean i've known about it for a while, but I've really tried to apply it lately. It's really shown me how to handle things to make my life less drama. It's amazing is all I have to say. So people If any of you are have problems and life isn't going so good or even if it is I recommend you read a book called "The Secret". It will change your life. I Promise. I mean I know I still have a long way to go, but I can so tell it's working by how much it's helped me so far. Well i g2g. TTYL. BYE!! =D

Current mood: content

8:19PM - AHHHHHH

So yeah today i went to my dad's best friends weddin. And i saw his kids and i haven't seen them in years. Well his son david is like 21 and i know he has a girlfriend but he was all like you look good Tiffany and i don't understand you'd think guys would be all over you or i like your shirt and he's say this in front of his girlfriend. The thing is I think i have a crush on him. God, why does he have to have a girlfriends and be 21!!!!!??? , but anyways thats about it for me right now. Ttyl! Buh By!

Current mood: flirty

6:15PM - drama, Drama, DRAMA!!!

Hey Everyone! I haven't been on here in forever. Lets just say A LOT has happened since I've last bee on here. For example, me and Billy have gone out twice. We also messed around, but i never had vaginal sex with him. We were also friends with benefits for a while. But things got so screwed up all he did was pressure me into stuff and used me. I was stupid for ever trusting him. Well then in December he starts going out with this girl Courtney. Then about a month ago we started talking and we became friends. Well i have to say he did treat her alot better than me. Well then he breaks up with her(but he says he didnt, but w/e) so i start talking to him on aim. I asked him if he ever actually liked me or did he like me and he's like why do u wont me and i was like i dunno and then he's like "friends w/ benifits?" and i said billy i dont know becuz i dont want to be hurt again.  then he said "ok" and got offline. Then the whole next day i started thinking well maybe we could be friends with benifits if it doesn't go that far. so i bring it up to him the next day on the computer saying yes, but i didnt wanna go as far as we did before. So i made up an excuse to leave the house and i went over to billy's house. So when i got over there for like 10 minutes we talked or were silent..it was very awkward. then out of no where i get a text from Courtney asking what i was doing this weekend. Billy was like who was it and i was like Courtney and then he said Courtney who. I said youe ex-girlfriend. thens he said no of this is told to her and i said i know. then i asked did u really ask her out again and if you still like her and he said no. (but he was lieing and i knew inside he was bc well it's billy) so then we messed around fo like 10 minutes and i didnt feel right so i said i have to go check my phone just in case my parents called. so i did and i told him my sister texted me saying i needed to go home even though I really didn't. so then hes like y and i said bc my parents said so and then he's like give me head real quick and i said umm no and then hes like i have condoms now.. i said didn't i tell u i didn't want to have sex and he said ya. so hes gay. anyways i left and went to danielle's dad's house. i told her and she was happy i was finally over him. So then the next day i tell hannah the story and she said if I was Courtney I'd want to now bc well he's telling her he likes her and wants her back. So then i tell her and she was mad at him not me she actually said hoes before bros..lol. Then she said that day he also asked her to be friends with benifits and it happened to be right after i left his house where 10 minutes before he's telling me he didn't like her and he didnt want her back and w/e. so Courtney and I confront him on aim about it, but he said u lied u said u wouldnt tell her and i was like u playd me, but right after that he blocked me. Then 3 minutes later I get a call from his mom Samm, but i was to scared to answer the phone. So then billy finally admits to Courtne about us messing around was true.so then 3 weeks as or maybe a little longer and so last night Courtney is staying the night at my house. I swear she wasnt even there 10 minutes and her cell phone rings and its billy and he knew she was at my house, but anyways he's like ya i dunno why, but my mom wants to talk to you and she's like no your mom scares me ..lol but he gives they phone to her anyways, but she hangs up. So then Samm calls back and leaves a message saying billy says your scared of me and i dont know why. And  he was grounded for a while fromthe phone, cell phone, computer, exbox and w/e else. Then she's like i told him to write u a letter every night and Billy's a good kid. Also I hear your talking to Tiffany and i feel sorry for you (oh was i pissed becuz i didnt do shit and she has mental issues if she thinks her son is a good kid and me my mom and courtney both laughed when we heard that...lol) and also that you hurt him as much as he hurt you(bull shit, she needs to stay out of billys business) so then she calls back but we dont answer. so yeah also my dad thinks they drove by my house to, but were not for sure. But yeah the today Courtney tells her mom about Samm leaving a message ( well lets just say courtney;s mom does not like samm) and she said if she calls her agian that she's calling the police on her and my dad said that to if she came up to the house...lol (haha). Wells that's about it. I'll ttyl!

~Tiffany

Current mood: angry